Already I feel like we have come so far with this project, yet I have to remind myself that until we go into Torry we really can’t go anywhere. For the past week or so I have been experiencing a state. It goes something like this; Excited, I remember that I am an artist on the Torry sound project and I am very excited. This leads me to ideas, I walk around, can’t think of anything else but the prospect of what we have proposed, the ideas come and go like waves, some of them I notice, some I ignore and others I enjoy, have a little fun with and play out in my head. The next stage is an open declaration of some of the ideas, Gemma and I bounce them off each other because she has been having them too. Social media, I have decided I like it as a sharing device, more now because it’s my job and if no-one ‘likes it’ it’s not my fault. Also, the people around me. They have been caught up in this state too, everyone I speak too has something to say about the project and I am embarrassed to tell you that I even called my daughter Torry this morning. This is worrying as her name is not Torry. So after the ideas and the shouting them from the rooftops I have been tending to feel slightly guilty. Weird, I know, but it feels like that guilt that you get when you have had a few drinks and memories of events are slightly blurred. That hung-over, gut clenching guilt tinged with an urgent sense of unworthiness. After that (and Gemma assuring me that I am worthy) I’m sure you can imagine that I feel pretty exhausted and become slightly laid back about the whole thing. I quite enjoy that part. Luckily enough, over the last 24 hours, things have started to settle down and I am not walking round in manic states, assuming things to be landmarks of Torry when they are actually common household appliances. Going to Torry and having the pleasure to talk to and meet some great folk there, has assured me that we are on the right course. Everyone has been so friendly and willing to help, non-judgmental and kind. I have already found a deep sense of a resonance, a one that I believe runs right throughout Torry. I am curious because I feel safe within it; perhaps it reminds me of home? I can’t wait to see where it leads us and all the treasures we may uncover along the way.
Angela 🙂
